dear brother

Preparation

Dear Brother,

Sometimes, even when you know you should be planning and packing for your nearly imminent 2-week trip abroad, an Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros concert will come up that you need to go to. And you should go. Go and dance and be merry.

Then, later, prepare to stay awake for three straight days because you have to see The Avengers with your sister before you guys leave, you still need a suitcase, you haven’t set up your phone for international calling and data roaming, you need a Mother’s Day card and/or gift, you need to shave your legs, you have to attend that high school commencement and retirement party, you told your boss you’ll be in the office the morning of the day you depart, and you cannot stop readingThe Hunger Games. Oh, and you have to pack.

But, I promise, that concert will have been incredible.

Love,

r

Formal Preferences

• GQ: We have some Frozen Planet fans at the office and we're wondering which animal Jack Donaghy would have the most respect for - a penguin, a seal, or a polar bear?
• Alec Baldwin: Obviously a penguin because it's in a tuxedo.

Party Music

Dear Brother,

Any good playlist must have music that is much older than you are - and maybe some much younger.

The Black Eyed Peas have no place on such a playlist.

Love,

r

Spring

Dear Brother,

When your boss is out of the office and your work is approximately finished, more often than not, it’s wise to leave while you’ve got some daylight left. Only crazy people go on walks in the park with a lobster roll, in the dark.

Love,

r

Sleeping

Dear Brother,

Our ideas of a “good night’s sleep” are wildly different, and that’s mostly okay. But I think we can both agree that midday napping is a treasure to be sought and reveled in. This is one of kindergarten’s most important lessons. Of course, at the time, only the teachers really understand this point.

More generally, on some days, with some people - or just yourself, to wake before sunrise will be remarkable. By the time 9 AM arrives, you can feel as though you lived an entire day - those “days” are often some of the best. So you may want to practice being awake for them.*

Pro tip: Adopt a reasonable bedtime. Neglect it only if absolutely necessary.

Love,

r

*If you want, I can call you at 6 AM, from time to time. Here to help.

Achievement

Dear Brother,

For the record, I was the only one to witness your first steps. Others familiar to you and me may protest, but we know the truth.

Love,

r

P.S. It remains a family mystery how, before you could walk, you extricated yourself from your crib and navigated a staircase and other obstacles (sofas, table legs, doorknobs seemingly beyond your reach) to wind up in mom and dad’s bed - with no apparent harm done.

Superlative

Dear Brother,

I think you are cooler than I am, but you should not think that.

Love,

r

Waffles

Dear Brother,

You will become hooked on waffles. I hope to have been responsible for jump-starting your addiction. Don’t worry though. Whether they’re Belgian from the truck near Central Park or perfectly burnt in a Waffle House, we’re in this together.

Love,

r

P.S. Adjust exercise regimen to accommodate this affliction.